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How could I smuggle these items into the prison for Berta during our conjugal visits…?

16 oranges
2 lemons
1 Samurai sword
3 copies of Lionel Richie’s ‘Hello’
1 CD player (she can’t use iPods yet)
Lubrication
A framed photo of her mother posing next to Liberace
Bear mace.
100ft long rope

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